The Truth About Sexual Immorality and Missing the Mark
When it comes to things like homosexuality, fornication, adultery, and other types of sexual immorality, the real issue at the core is that they all come from a place of missing the mark with our bodies and our purpose.
As men, we were created by God with a specific purpose in mind, and that purpose doesn’t include engaging in sexual sin or any other sin, like stealing, lying, killing, or cheating. All of these actions are a way of straying from the true path we were meant to follow.
When we engage in sexual sin, it’s like we’re missing the target, the plan God had for us—hurting ourselves and others in the process. Sex is meant to be a beautiful, sacred thing, reserved for the right time and place, not something that we take lightly or use to fill an emotional void.
'“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” 1Cor 6:9-11 NLT
The Need for Redemption and Saving
We all have a sinful nature—something deep inside that pulls us away from what’s good and right. We need redemption and saving from this condition, not just to make us feel better, but to keep us from hurting ourselves or violating others with the choices we make.
Whether it's through sexual sin, anger, lying, or anything else, we all have something we struggle with. No one is perfect, and everyone has their own battles to fight. But the good news is, we don’t have to face this alone. The power to change, to heal, and to stop the cycle of hurt comes through redemption—the ability to be forgiven and to start fresh.
“If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts” 1John 1:8-10 NLT
Facing Our Internal Struggles and Living a Godly Life
If we want to live a Godly and moral life, we need to face the things inside us—those inner struggles and desires that drive us to do things we know are wrong. It’s not easy, but it’s the only way to live with true peace and purpose.
When we say that homosexuality is OK, we risk opening the door to other actions that "miss the mark"—things like adultery, rape, incest, murder, lying, and stealing. It all starts with justifying one thing, and soon, everything else can seem acceptable too.
God created men and women to come together in a way that reflects His purpose for our lives. Our bodies and biology aren’t designed for same-sex intercourse, and when we ignore that design, we’re moving away from how we were made to live. We were made for something better, and it’s worth striving to understand and live by that purpose.
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one” Gen 2:24 NLT
Turning Away from Sin for Our Own Growth
When we struggle with things like murder, cheating, lying, adultery, fornication, or any other sin, it’s not just about doing the right thing to please God—it’s about taking control of our lives and finding true peace. God wants us to turn away from these behaviours, not just because they’re wrong, but because they hurt us and hold us back from becoming the best version of ourselves.
We all have an inherent sinful nature, but the good news is we don’t have to let it define us. By choosing to rise above our weaknesses and rule over those impulses, we can experience freedom, peace, and fulfillment in ways we never could if we just gave in to our desires. It’s about living a life that’s aligned with our true purpose—and that leads to real growth, happiness, and strength.
“You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master” Gen 4:7 NLT
Why would homosexuality be treated differently in our culture today as if it is separate from our sinful nature
Understanding Same-Sex Attraction and Sexual Struggles
Homosexuality or same-sex attraction can come from different places, and it’s important to recognize that it’s not always the same for everyone. Here's how it can develop and what to be aware of:
1. The Need for Connection and How It Can Shape Attraction
As you grow up, it’s natural to long for a strong connection with a male figure—whether it’s your dad, an older brother, a coach, or a mentor. This need for love, acceptance, and guidance is a huge part of becoming the man you’re meant to be.
If you feel like you’re missing that bond with your dad or someone who can really guide and support you, it can leave a sense of emptiness or longing inside. This feeling is real, and it can make you seek comfort and reassurance from other guys. You might find yourself wanting to spend time with other males just to feel like you belong or to fill that void.
In some cases, this search for connection can lead to exploring things sexually. It might start as simple curiosity—something all the other boys are doing—but for some, it can turn into a way of coping with that deeper emotional emptiness. If a boy starts to associate emotional closeness with sexual behavior, it can feel like a way to bond, to feel comforted, or to be accepted.
Over time, these sexual experiences can start to feel more and more like the real you, like this is how you were always meant to connect and feel loved. The emotional bond gets stronger every time, and it can make you feel like you were always meant to be attracted to the same sex.
2. We’re Born with a Sinful Nature
Every person is born with a sinful nature—a part of us that’s drawn to things that are wrong, like lying, stealing, and yes, sexual sin. But this doesn't mean we're doomed; it means we need to recognize it, take responsibility for it, and seek redemption to overcome it.
“You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies” 1Cor 6:12-13
3. Same-Sex Attraction and the Risk of Sin
If a guy struggles with same-sex attraction, this is something he needs to be aware of. It might be something that sticks with him for life, and the temptation to act on it can be strong. But just like with any other temptation, we need to rule over it, rather than letting it control us. The same way a heterosexual guy deals with lustful thoughts, everyone has to deal with the things that can lead them into sin.
4. Heterosexual Struggles Are the Same
For a heterosexual male who struggles with fornication (sex before marriage) or adultery, the struggle is just as real. It’s the same lustful nature to deal with—whether it's with the opposite sex or same sex—and it doesn’t disappear. We all need to recognize where our risks are, whether it’s pornography, lustful thoughts, or same-sex attraction, so we can protect ourselves and make better choices.
5. Fatherlessness and the Need for Male Connection
We live in a fatherless generation, where many boys don’t get the comfort and non-sexual love they need from their dads. This longing for a father’s love is natural. If a dad isn’t available, a boy might seek comfort from another male role model—like an uncle or family friend—and that’s okay. But the danger is if that person has a sexual agenda or abuses the trust, which can cause emotional harm and confusion.
6. The Impact of Sexual Experience and Bonding
When a boy longs for a dad’s comfort and then experiences sexual feelings (like through masturbation), his brain can associate those sexual experiences with the emotional need for love. Sexualizing this longing for connection can lead to sexual attraction to other males. This happens because the brain starts forming sexualized memories, making those feelings seem connected to the desire for male affection, even though the original desire was for non-sexual comfort.
7. Puberty and Curiosity
During puberty, it’s completely normal for boys to be curious about their own sexual development and the sexual development of others. Masturbating while focusing on genitalia can lead to strong, lasting memories, and these memories can make a boy feel sexually aroused whenever he sees other boys or men’s bodies.
8. The Power of First Sexual Experience
God created us with a strong bond that forms when we have our first sexual experience with our wife. This bond is meant to be powerful and lifelong—that’s how sexual attraction is supposed to work. But when guys engage in sexual immorality before marriage (like masturbation or same-sex experiences), it messes with that natural bond, and can lead to confusion and unhealthy patterns of attraction.
9. The Danger of Early Exposure to Pornography
Early exposure to pornography and sexual media can have a huge impact. What starts with heterosexual content can shift to same-sex content, which changes how a person sees sex and attraction. If a boy repeatedly masturbates to these images, it triggers sexual arousal and lust, which might then lead to real-life experiences that mirror what he’s seen in porn.
10. Sexual Violation and the Deep Emotional Impact
Unfortunately, many boys are exposed to sexual violation or abuse, which can cause deep emotional wounds. If a boy is sexually abused or molested by another male, it can create feelings of hurt, rejection, and confusion. A boy might start thinking that his value is tied to what he can give sexually to other men, which is not true.
11. The Temptation of Sexual Pleasure Without Consequences
Sometimes, boys might engage in sexual activities with other boys because it feels like a way to experience sexual pleasure without the risk of pregnancy. But the problem with this is that it creates confusion, emotional scars, and can lead to unhealthy patterns in relationships later on. Sexual activity before marriage compromises the way we were designed to experience intimacy.
In Conclusion:
Each person’s struggles with sexual attraction, whether same-sex or opposite-sex, are real and complex. But it’s important to know that you’re not alone in these struggles. By understanding where the origins of these feelings come from—whether from a lack of fatherly love, sexual curiosity, or pornography—we can take responsibility for our actions and work towards overcoming them. We all need to recognize our weaknesses, and with God’s help, we can find healing and live according to our true purpose.