Masturbation is a completely normal thing that all boys hear about, think about, or try at some point during puberty. This is the stage when we start to notice and explore our sexual drive.
It’s natural to be curious about your own body and how it works. Your sexual feelings and desires aren’t something to be ashamed of, and you don’t need to hide or suppress them just because they feel strong or intense at times. Instead of seeing them as something shameful or to get rid of, it’s better to understand them as a normal part of growing up.
we can positively use this regular sexual drive’s energy
Also read this article: ‘WHATS POSITIVE ABOUT OUR STRONG SEXUAL DRIVE’
When Masturbation Becomes a Harmful Habit
Masturbation is normal, but it can become a problem when it starts to control you instead of you controlling it. If you find yourself relying on it to deal with emotions, stress, or loneliness, it might be a sign that something deeper is going on. Over time, what started as curiosity or a way to relieve tension can turn into something that feels impossible to stop.
“Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power” 1 Cor 6:12 AMPC
Why Do We Justify Masturbation?
When masturbation becomes more than just a natural part of life—when it starts to feel like a need rather than a choice—we often come up with reasons to justify it. These justifications can feel completely real, but they can also stop us from seeing what’s really happening beneath the surface.
"I want to feel something."
Because I feel numb inside. Nothing excites me anymore, and the things that used to make me happy don’t seem to matter. Masturbation is the only thing that gives me a rush, even if it’s just for a moment.
"I want to escape."
Because life is hard, and I don’t know how to deal with stress, sadness, or failure. Instead of facing my problems, I check out—I disappear into a fantasy world where nothing hurts.
"I want comfort."
Because I feel lonely, rejected, or like I don’t matter. I don’t know how to talk about my feelings, and sometimes it feels like no one would understand even if I did. Masturbation is always there, and at least for a little while, it makes me forget how alone I feel.
"I’m bored."
Because my life feels empty. I wake up, do the same things every day, and nothing excites me. I don’t have a purpose, a goal, or something to look forward to, so I turn to what feels good in the moment.
"I need to relax."
Because I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Stress, anxiety, fear—I don’t know how to handle it. Masturbation helps me shut it all out, at least for a little while.
"I need release."
Because my sexual desires feel overwhelming, and I don’t know what to do with all this energy inside me. Sometimes it feels like I have no control over my own body.
"My body needs to get rid of semen."
Because I’ve heard that if I don’t ejaculate regularly, I might get a disease. I’m scared of what might happen if I stop.
Masturbation as a Quick Fix
The problem isn’t masturbation itself—it’s when we use it as a way to run from our emotions instead of dealing with them. It can feel like an easy escape, a temporary way to feel better, but it never actually fixes the problem. Instead, it can create a cycle where we turn to it again and again, avoiding real solutions that could make us stronger.
And in the process, we lose things:
❌ We start hiding from real relationships and social activities.
❌ We feel ashamed, guilty, or like we’re trapped in a habit we can’t break.
❌ We struggle to form deep, meaningful friendships because our minds are filled with fantasies and sexual thoughts instead of real connections.
The truth is, masturbation can never replace real human connection, purpose, or personal growth. It might feel like a solution, but it’s only a bandage over a deeper wound. The more we rely on it to cope, the more we miss out on the things that actually heal us—friendships, passions, adventure, and learning how to face life’s challenges head-on.
If you feel stuck, know that you’re not alone. Breaking free isn’t because of shame and guilt—it’s about taking back control and choosing something better for yourself.
What Happens Every Time You Masturbate?
Every time you masturbate while looking at pictures, thinking lustful thoughts, fantasizing about someone’s body, or even idolizing your own body, you’re reinforcing the triggers that pull you deeper into sexual habits. It’s like carving a path in your brain—the more you walk down it, the easier it becomes to return to it again and again.
The Power of Core Memories
What you focus on while masturbating—whether it’s an image, a fantasy, or a thought—becomes a core memory. These moments aren’t just random thoughts; they get locked into your mind, shaping the way you see sexuality and relationships in the future.
This ability to create core memories isn’t a mistake—it was designed to be powerful. From the very beginning, God intended sexual intimacy to be one of the most deeply emotional, bonding, and pleasurable experiences. It was meant to create a lifelong connection between a man and a woman—a connection that builds the foundation of love, family, and commitment.
Why Does This Matter?
Sex was never meant to be just about pleasure. It was designed to unite two people in a deep, unbreakable bond within a lifelong commitment—marriage. This isn’t just a rule to follow; it’s a foundation for something greater. It’s what creates the security, trust, and sacredness needed to build a family where children can grow up feeling safe, loved, and valued.
But when we use masturbation as an outlet for lust—when we fantasize about people, watch sexualized content, or let our minds get lost in desire—we start weakening the very ability God gave us to form that lasting bond. Instead of saving that deep connection for a real relationship, we use it up on momentary pleasure, making it harder to experience true intimacy in the future.
The Bigger Picture
Masturbation might feel like a small thing, but over time, it shapes the way we think about sex, relationships, and even ourselves. The more we train our minds to focus on lust, the harder it becomes to see love in its purest form. The more we rely on pleasure as an escape, the harder it becomes to build something real, meaningful, and lasting.
This isn’t about shame—it’s about recognizing how powerful your mind and body are and making choices that lead to a stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling future.
The Power of Sexual Experiences
Every sexual experience is deeply personal and intimate. When we engage in it—even in private—we’re not just acting on physical urges. We are opening ourselves up in ways we might not fully realize.
🔹 We open our eyes and ears to what we see and hear.
🔹 We expose our bodies to physical stimulation.
🔹 We open our minds, senses, and emotions to the experience.
🔹 We open our spirit and consciousness to the desires that take over in that moment.
When we open up ourselves in this way to lustful thoughts, fantasies, porn or other sexual triggers we allow them to shape our state of mind. Over time, these moments of self-gratification—meant to bring temporary comfort—can rewire our brains, making us crave them more and more.
Why Does This Matter?
Your sexuality is one of the most sacred and personal parts of who you are. It was meant to be preserved, protected, and shared in its fullness only with the person you choose to marry—or through devotion to God.
If you don’t guard it, you risk spending, losing, and wasting your most intimate experiences on quick, temporary pleasure—pleasure that can never replace real, lasting, and fulfilling intimacy. Instead of building something meaningful, you end up feeding a habit that leaves you empty, disconnected, and longing for more.
“For this is the will of God, that you should be consecrated (separated and set apart for pure and holy living): that you should abstain and shrink from all sexual vice, (4) That each one of you should know how to possess (control, manage) his own body in consecration (purity, separated from things profane) and honor, (5) Not [to be used] in the passion of lust like the heathen, who are ignorant of the true God and have no knowledge of His will” 1Thes 4:3-5 AMPC
The Impact of Core Memories
Every time you engage in a sexual experience, you create core memories in your mind. These memories don’t just disappear. They stay with you, shaping your thoughts and desires in ways you may not even realize.
They resurface every time your sexual drive kicks in, making it harder to control your urges.
They appear when you feel lonely, stressed, or in need of comfort, leading you back to the same habits.
They can even interfere when you try to focus on God or pursue deeper, more meaningful relationships—because your brain automatically opens up the "intimacy file" it has stored. And if that file is filled with lust, fantasy, and selfish pleasure, it will shape your thoughts in those moments too.
Choosing a Better Path
This isn’t about guilt or shame—it’s about realizing how powerful your mind is and making choices that protect your future. Real, lasting intimacy isn’t something cheap or disposable. It’s meant to be deep, meaningful, and shared with someone who truly values you.
The question is: What kind of memories do you want to shape your future?
My Advice to You
If you masturbate, do it as little as possible with the goal of eventually stopping. Total self-control isn’t easy, but aiming for abstinence helps you build discipline over your body and mind.
If you’re struggling to control it, then at the very least:
🚫 Never use porn, as it rewires your brain to crave constant stimulation.
🚫 Never use lustful fantasies, daydreams, or sexual thoughts about your own body or someone else’s.
🚫 Never engage in mutual masturbation with friends (whether boys or girls) because it creates deep core memories that can shape your sexuality in ways you might not fully understand yet.
Why This Matters
Sexual immorality is like using a hammer to drive in a screw.
Sure, it can get the job done, but it’s not the right tool— and the damage it causes can’t always be undone. The screw might stay in place for a while, but because it wasn’t inserted the right way, it will eventually come loose and fall out. Hammering it into wood or a wall damages the hole, making it weak and unable to anker the screw securely like it was meant to.
When we develop a sexualized, lustful mindset, we start seeing our bodies—and other people’s bodies—as objects for pleasure instead of real people to honour, respect and protect. We miss out on the real meaning of intimacy and lose the ability to experience it in its healthiest, most meaningful way.
Our body isn’t just for pleasure—it was designed for something greater. The more you protect it now, the more freedom you’ll have in the future.
“Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality (miss the mark with their bodies) sins against his own body” 1 Cor 6:18 AMPC