C4Y
See for Yourself website was started in 2018 as a resource for teens, young men, parents and older men wanting more information regarding sexuality and sexual issues
how to deal with masturbation
i encourage you to make a summary
of past masturbation or pornobation (looking at porn and masturbating) sessions. keep a private dairy or notes about the times you do it and write out the reasons or situations you were in when you needed to do it
after a while of recording
you will see some kind of pattern about feelings, emotions, or situations that drove you to masturbation or pornobation
then think & make notes about the next questions
do i masturbate to escape?
am i escaping
into sexual sin and what are the things i’m escaping from... write or make a summary of it. start thinking about other non-harmful, moral and Biblical OK escaping or comforting things that can work for you
(like sport, exercise, gym, talking about emotional hurts, exploring my fears or disappointments and get help about it)
do i do it for comfort?
do i really need this kind of comfort
or am i longing for intimacy, validation, love, caring and real intimate loving relationships with parents and other people
(normal real life relationships can help fill the longing and the ultimate comfort comes from Father God who created you to be in intimate fellowship with Him)
do i do it for pleasure?
why this kind of pleasure?
sexual pleasure is the most intimate and bonding pleasures any human can experience and it is reserved for marriage (one natural man and one natural woman that makes a lifelong covenant with each other and commit to be a safe place for children to be born and raised in) i need to reset myself to experience normal pleasure again and to become content without escaping or medicating myself with sexual pleasures
i can not help myself?
what sexual triggers
takes my mind captive and drive me to masturbation or pornography
(sexual fantasies, daydreams, music, people, magazines, stories etc. that take you to a place where you cannot help yourself but masturbate)
because i was sexually violated?
and cannot escape the loneliness, helplessness and shame the memories trigger
you need to talk to a trusted counselor about it so that you can be emotionally healed through speaking about the hurt and situation. we all must get to a place where we forgive and receive Godly counsel and healing from different hurts done to us
because i sexually violated someone else?
and cannot get rid of the lustful memories
you also need to talk to a Godly counselor you trust about the circumstances. Godly and wise counsel is very important on how to deal and resolve this situation
because of the different aspects that effected you personally, its never an easy, fast answer or quick relieve and freedom
BUT i know from experience
that it was a worthwhile season of my live to really look deeper into myself and confronting the issues that caused me to seek cheap, fast and available sexual relief from my own hurts, shortcomings and things i’ve missed and longed for throughout this journey, you will discover important issues to face and deal with…
and that is exactly the things that will mature you as a man
take time and summarize the answers to the above questions
then you can start dealing with each aspect
this is where you need your dad or a Godly counselor/mentor you trust and can relay real time issues with him as it unfolds in your journey
i know you can get through this if you engage in the process!
through engagement, you will mature in taking responsibility for your life, the wrongs you did and throughout this experiences you will learn about the love of God the Father for you!