masturbation is a very normal activity all boys and men discover, hear about, test or try out sometime during puberty years

 this is the time when we discover our sexual drive

exploring & experiencing our own capacity and sexual functionality is normal. our sexual drive and desire are not a shameful thing or something we need to discipline, hide or get rid of when we feel it’s frequent raging effects in our bodies

we can positively use this regular sexual drive’s energy

look out for our future article ‘WHATS POSITIVE ABOUT OUR STRONG SEXUAL DRIVE’

masturbation becomes a harmful habit

when we cannot rule over it, but when it eventually enslaves us to a point where we cannot live without the powerful and dependent effects it produce for our whole being 

“Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power” 1 Cor 6:12 AMPC 

we justify masturbation and sexual pleasure

for different reasons throughout our lives. here are a few examples and statements to consider why we validate it

i want to feel some pleasure

because i feel numb and normal day to day pleasures does not excite me anymore

i want to escape

because i never learned how to deal with difficulties in my life, i always ignore it and escape out of the situation

i want comfort

because i feel disappointed, rejected, alone and hurt and don’t know how to communicate it to my parents, my wife, my friends or other people around me

i’m bored

because i need some excitement, my life is boring and i have no future expectations or a purpose for living

i need to relax

because i’m always stressed and don’t know how to get over my fears and anxieties

i need release

because my sexual drive & desire is driving me crazy and i don’t know how to use my sexual energy correctly

my body must get rid of semen

because i’m scared of contracting prostate, testicular cancer or any other genital related illness

 we use all of the above and more reasons

to JUSTIFY masturbation as a remedy tool we can easily use in different situations. we tend to get lazy and don’t engage in other more positive activities (sport, creativity, exploring, adventure, communicating our feelings, de-stress, etc.) that has a healthier and longer lasting positive effect on our bodies and brains

we end up hiding from real relationships and activities that build our confidence and relational skills. we feel ashamed, dirty or guilty about our masturbation habit

we lose the ability for good relationships when our fantasy world, sexualized thoughts, daydreams and secret desires hijack normal friendships

every time we masturbate

with any kind of picture, lustful desire, sexualized fantasy, imaginations of other peoples bodies or idolizing our own bodies and genitals, we reinforce the triggers that draw us back into sexual immorality

what we focus our attention on while masturbating and having a sexual climax (ejaculate) with; that image and experience will become a CORE MEMORY and is glued and branded into your mind

this ability to create CORE MEMORIES

was perfectly planned and developed by God to be the most powerful, intimate and pleasurable activity ever to set up the physical and emotional bond between a man and a woman

this sexual bond must only take place if we as men take up our responsibility in a covenanted, lifelong commitment relationship called marriage. this will ensure the lasting sacredness of being a father and mother wherein children can grow and mature

when we masturbate with lustful thoughts about girls or boys, we compromise this Godly given ability and lessen the effects we need to ensure a successful married life

any sexual experience

is a very intimate and private activity where we open ourselves, our deepest inner being and desires for a selfish sexual act to bring comfort to our need of the moment

WE OPEN our eyes, our ears and then expose our genitals. we open our mind, our senses, our soul and emotions. we open our spirit and our consciousness to give full authority to a sexual lustful experience or fantasy to change our state of mind through sexual immorality

we actually want

to preserve & protect this very sacredness of our private, intimate being for that special person you want to marry or your devotion to God

otherwise you will spent, lose out on and waist your most intimate experiences on cheap, quick and false, selfish moments of lustfulness and never learn the value of durable, long lasting and healthy sexual intimacy 

“For this is the will of God, that you should be consecrated (separated and set apart for pure and holy living): that you should abstain and shrink from all sexual vice,  (4)  That each one of you should know how to possess (control, manage) his own body in consecration (purity, separated from things profane) and honor,  (5)  Not [to be used] in the passion of lust like the heathen, who are ignorant of the true God and have no knowledge of His will” 1Thes 4:3-5  AMPC

this core memory appears every time your sexual drive kicks in or when you are looking for comfort or escape. it also appear when you have any kind of intimate thoughts… even when you want to worship God… because your brain opens up your intimate file, and that file contain all the CORE MEMORIES

my advise is

if you masturbate, then do it as FEW TIMES AS POSSIBLE with your focus on total abstinence

if your cannot already master it, never ever use porn, lustful fantasizing, daydreams about sexual desires of your own or other peoples bodies and genitals

never engage in mutual masturbation with friends (girls or boys) because of our ability to create very strong CORE MEMORIES

sexual immorality

is like using a hammer to drive in a screw.. (it can do the job, but with harmful effects) 

when we have a sexualized, lustful mindset like this, we miss and abuse the original purpose of using our bodies

“Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” 1 Cor 6:18 AMPC